wow.

i am totally having the time of my life. everything and everyone and everywhere are all falling into place. i'm truly happy and nothin can bring me down off this high.

ok, better. just wanted to say that.

post more later.

to prevent the spread of drama i removed a post.

although, i feel its too late.

let me explain the reasoning behind why i posted the previous post:

a washed up DRAG QUEEN (horrible at that) tried to put me in my place when i rebutted and put that bitch back in the hole he crawled out of. thus spawning me to this post.

will i make enemies? yes. will i make allies? yes. do i care? no.

plain and simple.

to actually post again, lol, actually to vent.

let me begin that washed up wanna-be's should just accept the fact that they are nobody and no one fucking cares about them and move on with their life. some people were meant for the spotlight and others were meant to disappear behind the existence of what is their life. for those meant for it they will prosper and enjoy, the others will struggle for the meager existence that is theirs but will always struggle to achieve the goal that they feel is theirs but never will be.

why i say this u ask? i may be mr stallions, on year three of my reign, and i know for a fact this pisses quite a few people off, some of which read this journal, and to you i say FUCK OFF. but i am, i will continue to be, until someone, "unsaid" deems it time for me to give it up. be that tomorrow or next week, or next month.... to me, it means nothing, it's a title in the dilusion of existence that is the harrisburg gay community. just like mike or bill we are all ready to give it up. no one cares about it, we want it over and done with. but honestly, i like to spite the many that believe that i am no longer "worthy" of the title. "worthy" my ass. u sorry, insignificant people that believe u affect me in life have some news coming to you, FUCK OFF. i don't care what you believe and/or what you think.

in my time away from the bar i learned a few things... one, definitely being that i have NO CARE at all what you think of me. honestly, i think nothing of you, and anything you think of me is just that, nothing. when it comes to the title, its a grain of sand ready to be lost in the world that is existence. to the rest of the world it is absolutely nothing. anyone can have it and it makes them nothing more than a figure in the NON-EXISTENT harrisburg gay community. do we have a gay community u ask? fuck no. of course we don't. thats why we pay admission to pride every year. thats why pride is filled with the same vendors that are present at every other event riverfront offers. the exact reason that mr stallions, mr harrisburg, or for that matter, mr pennsylvania means absolutely nothing!! no one fucking cares anymore.

for the same reason that this, most probably, will be the last year for ms pennsylvania... lots of respect for those involved, but no one cares anymore. no one cares. remember that, the issues that matter no one cares about, the issues that don't, no one cares about. its the reason we have poor representation in government. no one cares anymore.

people get bombarded by trivial shit all the time that when it comes time to actually do something about it, no one cares. make it an issue. make it a cause. stand up for your beliefs, fight for whats right.

i say that, and honestly, i do. but no one else does. they sit back and watch. they wonder why things are the way they are; they wonder how someone got in office; they just sit back and watch... if you have a problem then be proactive.

for instance, i am mr stallions. i am disliked by a large number of the stallions staff and patrons. i know i'm disliked by the staff because of what was said to me and what is told to me. i know i'm disliked by the patrons because what they tell me. actually, at this point in 2006 most people don't even know who i am anymore. i don't flaunt it. nor would i.

its disrespected more than anything.

i took my time off and realized what matters to me. what i like, and dislike; what i enjoy and what i don't.

i am the victor. i have achieved what i desired. the rest, those who feel victorious, are nothing more than casualties i left on the wayside. dominate as you want... u are destroyed.

it's time to soar
this is just the beginning.

domination is emminent.

resistance is futile.

haha. damn str8 mother fuckers!

i must concede that i definitely use myspace much more than lj now.

theres alot going on for me now and i'm having a total blast doing it. i'm getting through it. i've quit some things and begun new things. i've changed and grown. i've moved on and settled.

where i am right now is by far not where i pictured myself ever! but here i am ready to fly, to soar... and fuck'n right, i'll soar.

peace out

You Should Drive a Ford Shelby Mustang Cobra

You have an extreme need for speed, even when you're not in a hurry. And while your flying by, you don't want to look like every other car on the road!

WOOHOO!! i love this car.

so sometimes i think i just gotta soar.

lately i've been totally emotionally unstable. eh, maybe thats an understatement for those who've been present for my "breakdowns" but yaknow, i don't know any other way to say it.

i understand where i'm coming from and what exactly has been going down on the inside and maybe some don't see it or even remotely have a clue why i'm doing what i do, but i do it. but i just got in and i had a blast. i may have only have been out for an hour or so but it was a very good time. the company was excellent and the telephone calls tonite have been totally uplifting to say the least.

nows the time to spark up old friendships, to enjoy the day, to never let people go, to take the initiative, to dominate, to rise, to be. exactly. now's the time to be.

the future is today;
the past is far away

i'm turning the page and it may be a little difficult in some respects, but in others it shouldn't be more than me agreeing that the page must be turned.

work tonite was great, i caught up with someone i haven't seen in god knows how long but it was great. we conversed and it opened my eyes. then later at work i caught up with another friend. after work i had every intention of going home and sitting here killing time, but a telephone call changed all that. i had a great time. and on the way home i caught up with yet another friend, who i feel horrible about neglecting primarily because he's the longest and oldest friend i have. he's definitely seen me through my ups and downs and likewise me with him... its about time we finally get caught up with each other and heed the others advice; christ, it's helped me plenty of times before.

in recap of tuesday nite, i must say that i remember very little. i loved everything up until the berry; hanging out with those peeps is fucking awesome.... although, i wish i wasn't the token drunk, but someone's gotta fulfill that role, might as well be me. who knew a beer could pack such a punch. but maybe it was the irish car bombs... or this yager bomb that i have no recollection of doing, but hey, i had fun up until the berry.

tonite i discovered that most people know about the happenings and what was said to me at the berry. and the encouragement i received was greatly appreciated. that's the last time some washed up wanna-be will ever affect me. fuck that bull shit. but even that night i got some words of wisdom (maybe i don't remember what they were) but the conversation is in my head and thank you very much.

ReZn
many asked what this was. reason. everything we do as human beings has a reason behind it. we must in times of enlightenment determine these reasons. we may not be entirely responsible for it, but something is. destiny. every single person is destined for something and/or someone. some for greatness and glory, others for success and fame.... all of these terms relative to those thinking it. for instance the lollipop guild may believe they achieved fame and glory whereas everyone else is over it beyond belief; but guess what, in their eyes they achieved it. reason urself. ask questions. never concede. never quit. never stop. Wynn Bullock once said: "If you stop searching, you stop living, because then you're dwelling in the past. If you're not reaching forward to any growth or future, you might as well be dead. can i sum it up any better? i think not.

so ReZn is being. is growing. is becoming. is changing. is truth. is lies. is honor. is defeat. the question rather is: "what is ReZn not?" and honestly, to me, maybe to you, i have no answer. live it up while you can because no one knows what tomorrow holds. and really, what promise do you have that there will be a tomorrow?

The time to be happy is now; the place to be happy is here. Robert G. Ingersoll

thank you.
sunhawk has to soar... and in my favorite quote of all which i have no source for, but oh well:

There was a time I seemed to sail upon the vast blue sea... scanning for the horizon, for some distant wondrous place that I've never seen before. But as the days and years pass by I learned that the joy is in the journey, and not at the journey's end.

my journey is just beginning... who wants to come aboard?

been an interesting week, by far.

where really should i begin? no where? zactly, works for me.

sometimes things are best left unsaid.

see ya.

"shot please"
--
"tequila, and leave the bottle"


**happy times**

rezn.

anyway, so i'm chillin here waiting for my pizza from papa johns to be delivered. THANK GOD for them!! i eat from there at least twice a week. [flush $50 down toilet here] and realized i have yet to post an actual upbeat post about this prior weekend.

this weekend was a 4day weekend for me after leaving work on friday, i did not have to return until 2pm on wednesday!! WOOHOO! St Patricks day. yes, ahh, yes. green beer? hell no. it was capt'n coke AND YAGER BOMBS all nite long!!! [roughly $100 later the nite ended, lol] but yeah, it was fantastic. everyone was out, it was definitely like old times. goofing off and having a blast. the water fight was great!! only us!

also, friday nite was awesome because ironically, although i was being used, i was using too, so what is it if 2 people use each other simultameously? [i know i spelt that wrong] hm, not sure. i don't feel used. so its all good!! exactly. all good. [mentality degraded]

also friday i was on the mic for the first time in "who knows how long" and it was such a blast!! so maybe [wink wink] rocket is back, cuz i missed it. it was much fun and very long without.

but then saturday came around and i went to parade on 2nd. brrr. it was cold!! well, only when the wind blew, but it was still cold. this is when i began getting sick. but i'm a trooper! not only did i begin getting sick but i stuck with my dinner plans and BAM went out AGAIN!

[pizza just got here]

nite 2 definitely wasn't as pricey as nite 1 but i still had a great time! sunday was definitely anti-climatic. met up @ the hilton for brunch. EXCELLENT! mmm mmm mmm. and the mamosa's rocked too!! lol. great time. however, i got totally sick on sunday. cough, sniffles, body-aches, etc. so when i made it home i crashed and boy did i. 15hrs of sleep later i woke up monday afternoon and lounged around until i got the call.... "hello? yes, this is jon. lager? oh yeah i know u. i'll be right out" [ok, so maybe i'm having too much fun making this post, but i'm in such a great mood i can't help it]

alrighty. so yeah, it was an INCREDIBLE MOTHER FUCKING - KNOCK UR SOCKS OFF W/ A MALLET - PARTY A LITTLE BIT LONGER - SLEEP WHEN UR DEAD kind of weekend.


love you all for participating. love you more for tolerating me. love you more for being my friend.

sidenote: rachel: thank you for saying what u did on saturday. it means alot.

more to come. but time to eat. did we notice the new image?????????!!!!!!!!!

update:

i'm an asshole.

love u all!!




edit:
elaboration to follow. just a good time. this weekend rocked everyone!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

wow. can i say that? let me try it again. wow. lol. i had a fucking blast this past weekend. a blast on so many levels. not a shallow drunken: "hehehe, that was a fun time, i was wasted." god knows there's been enough of them here alate. it was an overall blast. from the second i stepped out around 3... to my haircut... to my travels to MD for booze... to stallions later on... to breakfast afterwards... to comin home @ 430am... and EVERYTHING in between.

before i continue, thank you. thank you to all those who played a part in one of the most needed nights ever for me. i've been fairly depressed recently... eh, fairly may be an understatement. but needless to say i wasn't really myself. and most people realized that.

from pregame to touchdown. well, not really, cuz there was no "touchdown" and honestly, i think if there would've been with anyone i wouldn't be in the same CLOUD NINE utopia. i dare any mother fucker to try and bring me down.

what did i learn? well, lol. many things. and ironically the first 5 drinks after pregame were nothing but H20. that's right folks, i drank 5 bottles of water before i consumed any alcohol at stallions. and while drinkin water i had so much fun and began the highlights for the rest of my evening.

so yeah, captain cryptic strikes again. try and translate and read between the lines. do what you want. i'm finally in a good mood in how many weeks?! it's about god-damn-mother-fucking time.

yaknow what? i can always close my eyes. thank you.

good nite and good luck

rock out, peace on

i don't really have the time to post right now cuz i'm heading out the door, but i gotta say that i am totally on CLOUD NINE right now. nothin can fuck this up.

could i be any busier right now?! ugh. i'm counting down til tuesday when i'm off, but tomorrow's 14+ hr day is gonna be killer. then turn around and do at least a 10hr the next... ughs.

oh well, can't complain about the money. anyway, i'll post somethin real when i get the chance; but prior to march 14 is lookin rather skeptic at the moment. we'll see what i can do.


rock out peace on

You are the Marquis Da Sade. Even stripped of exaggerations, Your real life was as dramatic and as tragic as a cautionary tale. Born to an ancient and noble house, you were married (against your wishes) to a middle-class heiress for money, caused scandals with prostitutes and with your sister-in-law, thus enraging your mother-in-law, who had you imprisoned under a lettre de cachet for 14 years until the Revolution freed you. Amphibian, protean, charming, you became a Revolutionary, miraculously escaping the guillotine during the Terror, only to be arrested later for publishing your erotic novels. You spent your final 12 years in the insane asylum at Charenton, where you caused another scandal by directing plays using inmates and professional actors. You died there in 1814, virtually in the arms of your teenage mistress.

You are a revolutionary deviant. I applaud you.


Which Imfamous criminal are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

snowboarding on tuesday. open invitation for interested parties.

let me just say how much i despise american idol!

and everything it stands for!! FUCK THAT!